August 18, 2016: United States Postal Service PSA: do not, under any circumstances, open mail or packages that are left in your mailbox, without thoroughly examining the recipient name.
To save money, I get my prescriptions by mail order. I received one yesterday, which was a little puzzling, since they typically let you know they’re coming, and I hadn’t received a notification. Hmm. Must have gone to my SPAM folder. Multi-tasking, while on the phone with my mom, I opened my mail. Oh. The. Horrors. The prescription was delivered to the wrong address. And I can’t unsee what was in that benign-looking white envelope. Viagra. My elderly, white-haired, sometimes terse, always tidy neighbor with the much younger German girlfriend has been getting BUSY.
Had this happened with any other piece of mail or package, I would have immediately hand-delivered it with a profuse apology for mistakenly opening the package. Instead, in the darkness of night, I left it on the doorstep. I’ll never look at him quite the same way again. But hey … you GO, neighbor.