Month: September 2017

November 9, 2013: “One night in Bangkok, and the world’s your oyster …” Thanks, Murray Head. That song has been stuck in my head ALL day. My sister and I decided we would save a little money and time by taking the express bus, then the Sky Train to our hotel. This seemed logical. Until you throw in a 50-pound suitcase, a small carry-on, and a backpack. Escalators or elevators? I think not. Even the rare escalator has stairs leading up to it. I am going to be SO buff by the time I get back home. We noticed that all the other travelers were taking taxis. They were definitely on to something. When we arrived at the hotel, we calculated our savings. About ten bucks. This was not a well thought-out plan.

We spent a good part of the afternoon relaxing next to the rooftop pool, sipping colorful drinks with umbrellas in them. We are in a tropical oasis in the midst of an urban metropolis. You literally have no idea you are surrounded by a city with a population of around 12 million. Wildly different than Phuket.

Last night, an ingenious plan was hatched. This has been an amazing trip. It simply had to be commemorated. So mom and dad, we’re probably going to get grounded when we get home, but we’re comin’ home with tattoos. Our virginal flesh is now inked. A hummingbird for my sister (in an area that will rarely see the light of day), and the word “breath” written in simple Chinese symbols on my ankle. I considered “breath” in Thai, but it was a LOT more letters. The hotel recommended Jimmy Wong, tattoo artist to the stars, or at least Kate Moss. Jimmy and his studio are a story unto themselves, but we’ll save that for another day. Getting a tat in Bangkok was just too good to pass up. And I’m going to love to tell that story when I’m 80.

Tomorrow, we’re hitting it early, and are going to see as many temples as we can. We’ll try to do some shopping at the local markets, too, and hopefully locate a Hard Rock Cafe to add to my son’s t-shirt collection. We really have only one full day here before heading to Chiang Mai, so we need to go in to turbo mode! Until then ..

 

November 8, 2013: The Flying Hanuman jungle zip line course, or as my sister refers to it, “The Flying Human”, was a hoot. There were 28 lines that ran through the rain forest, and a couple of them were about two football fields long. We traversed swinging bridges, belayed down about 75 feet, and even “surfed” across one stretch. We did a double zip, where we were tied together and instructed to hold hands. This activity was a workout, no ATVs, trams, or jeeps to get you up that mountain … no sir. Foot power all the way! And I didn’t fall today. Even once! Okay, maybe once. And that was on the hotel tram. Hardly counts at all. Noteworthy fact … the safety instruction was delivered in Russian. The good news is that my sister and I both know the most important word in this circumstance … “nyet”.

So, mission accomplished on our quest to locate and utilize all the hotel pools. We discovered two waterfalls, a number of lagoons, two water slides, an underground cave, and four full-sized pools. The first water slide was a little sluggish, so we expected the same on the second. My sister went first, and a good hint of what was to come was the fact that she was there one second, gone the next, like an astonishing magic trick. I thought, “I’m game”, so I slid in. One full-on nasal rinse, a nip slip, and a wedgie later, I realized this was no ordinary water slide.

We went to dinner to a restaurant in Kata called, “The Boathouse”. Best meal so far. There were couples on the beach lighting lanterns and sending them floating through the air. Beautiful.

We have a 4:00 a.m. wake-up call for our flight to Bangkok tomorrow, where there is apparently some civil unrest. What’s a trip without a little protest, eh? Amnesty, red shirts … Whatevs. Girls just want to see some temples and get a little shopping in. Until then ….

November 7, 2013: Interesting trivia … there are “Elephant Crossing” signs in Thailand. Even more interesting trivia … they actually do cross the road.

There were a number of fascinating sights on the way to our boat ride, and that was before the day officially started! We saw two elephants, lending credence to the warning signs, then saw a water buffalo grazing along the road. We saw a rubber tree farm with rows and rows of trees with spigots, reminiscent of the maple trees in the northeast. Our driver today had symbols painted above his sun visor. I asked him about them, and they are apparently a Buddhist safety blessing. You need all the help you can get while driving through Patong Beach, so we were more than grateful for the blessing.

Today’s boat ride was more of a thrill ride than yesterday’s amble through the islands. It was very fast, and our first stop took us to a hong at low tide, which meant we walked in, rather than paddled. We were given helmets, which was puzzling until I walked head first in to a stalactite. Then I fell again in to the incoming tide / bat guano. I really do take klutz to the next level. (My sister apparently has this on video. I can only hope it was too dark in there to really capture my graceful plunge.)

After our hike through the drained lagoon, we headed out for some more kayaking through a mangrove forest. Our guide thought my sister and I were lovers, and he made us a heart-shaped frame from a leaf, through which he took our photo. There were two Polish cousins on our trip that were experiencing the same misconception, so we had a good chuckle over that.

The next stop was my favorite of the day. We went to a Sea Gypsy village … a linked group of run-down shacks on piers attached to a small island. They were granted the special privilege to stay there, since the village has been there for a couple hundred years, but it is the only one of its kind. There is a school, restaurant, a market, and the homes. It was absolutely fascinating.

On the way “home”, we discovered the method for troubleshooting electrical problems in the spaghetti bowl of wires that generate the local electricity. You lay your ladder against said wires, and jiggle things around until they work again. Whatever works!

Tonight, we went to dinner, and ordered up a couple of cocktails. I had a Cosmo, which they served in an extraordinarily large glass. So why not have another? Afterward, we decided it was imperative that we get a local aloe vera massage to soothe our sunburns. Well, let’s just say I had to take a “break” midway through (which happens when your Cosmo is served in a vat), so I had to go down a hallway to the ladies’ room, which is shared by a restaurant and several other establishments, wearing nothing but a sheet. I don’t think this is a common occurrence, because all the ladies were giggling.

Tomorrow … Jungle zip lining.

November 6, 2013: Fact. The proportion of wildly attractive to average men who scuba dive is appreciable. Especially when they speak with an Australian accent.

Fact. Even an average man is attractive in dive gear.

In light of this, today was another good day! We started the day with breakfast poolside. We still have no idea of the footprint of this establishment. It is my goal to set foot in each of the pools here, but first we must find them. Our room overlooks a pool that has lights that sparkle like diamonds in the night. I’m not sure it’s open after dusk, but hell, I just went topless on our lanai. We’re in Thailand, so rules are pretty sketchy.

On the way to our first dive site near Phi Phi Island, I got to see my first flying fish! They look similar to a sparrow, skimming just above the surface of the water. My sister had her own personal dive master, Neung, while I got to be rather independent as a snorkeler. I made a new friend from Moscow, and we paddled around the cove, looking at a kaleidoscope of fish, coral, sea stars, and urchins. The water here is a vibrant emerald green, about 84 degrees, and is as clear as glass. Our second site was even better. We swam through schools of tropical fish, and hung out with a couple of sea turtles. It was like swimming in the world’s largest tropical fish tank. The third site was limited to divers, because the current was too strong on the surface. Boss man told me I would be swept straight out to sea. I wasn’t really a fan of that, so I complied.

We enjoyed a fabulous sunset on the ride home. I must say, one of my favorite things on this trip so far is meeting people from all over the world and hearing their stories. The Scottish woman who spent the last month exploring Singapore, Dubai, Bali, Borneo, and countless other exotic locales. We’ve met Russians, Aussies, French, Chinese, Brits, Scots, and, of course, our gracious Thai hosts. It’s a different world here. Neung, my sister’s dive master, appears to be this innocent, fragile, beautiful young woman. Her appearance, however, contradicts her backstory. Orphaned at ten, pregnant at fifteen, her five-year old son takes care of himself while she works to support him. They have good neighbors, she told us. If he gets scared, he can go visit them. Unheard of for us, but a way of life for her. I’m counting my blessings tonight …

Dinner was a bottle of red wine on our lanai and room service. After our long day on the water, we were jonesing for something simple. A steak sandwich fit the bill quite nicely. Medium for me, medium rare for Susan. When it arrived, we asked our server which was which. This caused a great deal of confusion, as he looked from tray to tray. He finally said, in his heavy Thai accent, “I do not know.” Well, alrighty, then! Next time, let’s select a Thai dish.

Tomorrow, we’re off to Phang Nga Bay and James Bond Island. Until then …

Nov. 5, 2013: A good vacation is about being flexible, I think. Our (best-laid) plans included a trip to Phang Nga Bay and James Bond island today. Well apparently, they forgot us. So now, that will be Thursday’s adventure. This, to us, was a clear sign to enjoy the local area and do a little exploring. We decided to walk to old-town Phuket to have breakfast. Much to my surprise, rice, glass noodles, and black-pepper chicken is quite delightful in the morning. On our way, I caught my flip-flop on an uneven piece of sidewalk, and took a spectacular tumble. This wonderful Thai gentleman was ever-so concerned, but I insisted on capturing the moment on “film” before I made my way back up on two feet. After all, this is all part of the story, right? This was, by the way, my second fall of the trip. There is far too much to see all around me to pay much attention to what’s going on down south, where my feet reside. So, in addition to unforgettable experiences and fantastic photography, I am also collecting an impressive array of bruises and skinned knees. My sister has taken to calling our vacation, “Trippin’ in Thailand”. I rather like it.

After breakfast, we made our way down to the sugar-sand beach in front of our hotel and set up our nest for the day … reclining beach chairs, umbrellas, and a couple of good books. Midway through the day, we enjoyed a Thai massage. Now, this was no gentle massage on a beachside cabana by a uniformed spa employee, mind you. This was a step-in-the-bucket-to-rinse-your-feet, get under a rusty, framed canopy, lie on an old beach towel kind of massage. The elderly, leather-skinned Thai pretzeled me into shapes I had no idea were physically possible. Oh, and beach sand makes an excellent exfoliant. Jell-O was firmer than I when I stepped out from under that tarp. I grabbed my snorkel gear and walked straight out to the warm, clear, emerald sea, where I floated face down long enough to acquire an impressive sunburn.

After rinsing the sand from our bodies, we grabbed a tuk-tuk and headed to the wild side of Phuket, Patong Beach. It is a chaotic, frenetic city, with kamikaze, helmet-less motorcycle riders vying for space and speed, beautiful people, smells, and sounds the likes of which I have never experienced. We had happy hour beachside, with our cocktails served from a pink VW van. My sister is working hard to teach me the art of negotiation, but alas, this is not my gift. I talked a woman into selling me a tunic for 350 baht (she started at 600), and after paying her, I gave her back 50 baht. I may not be ruthless, but the smile she gave me was worth it.

Now, we’re back at the hotel, ready to rest up for our next adventure. Tomorrow is a dive for my sister and a lazy snorkel for me at Phi Phi Island. Until then …